Just as my luck would have it, a few days ago I got a fucking SMOKING ticket on the bus platform, I WOULD get a ticket for smoking.... I rarely ever smoke, but of course, the one time I do, I would get a ticket for it. Since then I have been more observant of posted signs and other law breakers, and if it weren't for my obsessive nature to smile at people that look like they're having a bad day, Mr. Sheriff wouldn't have slowed his roll and backed up on the busway therefore making ME have a bad day, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SMILE, STRANGERS? Moving on and forward, today as I once again had to run for the bus, a noticed an unaware law breaker. He was huffing down a ciggie like he had been smoking with both hands since birth, which very well could be true from his appearance. Where are the sheriffs now? Hmm, jerking themselves off with the radar gun I suppose. Thank you judicial system, you are truly just.
Number one reason public transportation blows, crying babies. Simply. I'm not a hater on the future of tomorrow's current milk issues, but when I have to sit through 20 minutes of non-stop crying in a small space, already bugged because my sorry excuse for an iPod is in someone's glove box, I'm almost bound to lose my shit. And trust me, I know a thing or two about doing whatever it takes to get your kid to shut the fuck up thanks to my step mom, but breast feeding on the bus is a no no on all accounts. Half of Los Angeles didn't need to see that, some did, I didn't. But 2 things that I do extremely appreciate and might be overlooked to the untrained eye, but thanks to my creeper status I ravish in them. One being the decked out black kid so so fresh that he's even got studded ear rings that say "sexy," that's got me thinking "oh,... really?" And as he sits down shoots looks like "sooooooo, listen...uhh can I have it?" And if you have no idea what I'm talking about you need to youtube "Can I Have Your Number - MadTv" only funny thing MadTv has ever put out, ever. I make myself giggle on the Metro, I get it how I need it. Where I proceed to text Martine so she too can partake in these events, where her response was "WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT" which I unhesitatingly texted back "MTV." Secondly, the hefty Mexican dude who was falling asleep standing up directly in front of me, I was so afraid you were going to topple onto my unscuffed nike's. Did you feel my eyes engulfing your prison tattoos? There were more tits than a porno on your forearm to make AVN jealous and those 3 tear drops made me drop a tear myself. Brown pride tattoos with single needles have to be my absolute favorite, I couldn't help but notice that you had just breasts with a sombrero hovering over them. Are those the only good parts of a woman, boobs and siesta time hats? I was hoping for at least some ass... wait, sounded wrong.
I honestly hope I shed some light on people's marine layer day with my horrificly awesome texts about the metro. If you're not lucky enough to get a daily dose of "WTF" messages, sorry, read the blog. And for people in the states that don't know what "marine layer" is, they're CLOUDS, watch the weather channel.
NON BUS RELATED:
So, there's this kid that I see at school, might be 1 of 5 white guys I bump into daily and he's the cutest thing this side of Van Nuys Blvd. Thank goodness I wear sunglasses every day and can't see me eye fucking him back as we pass. I wish he rode the bus so I can eye molest him longer, no talking. I'm guna make the move on this long blonde babe. Watch me.
Side Note: This gal Meiko sings some legit stuff, it's overly adorable and my obsession for the week. "Boys With Girlfriends" and "Reasons to Love You," check it.